Have you ever noticed how stress can feel all-consuming, or how even small frustrations sometimes set off an avalanche of physical reaction - tension, racing thoughts, or a general sense of agitation? This isn’t all in your head; it’s your nervous system sending you signals that it wants you to pay attention. 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock recently, you’ve probably heard people talking about the nervous system. It seems everyone is talking about it and interest in methods to calm and regulate our nervous systems has soared. 

Indeed - If you’ve been looking for ways to better manage stress and regulate your emotions, learning how to work with your nervous system, not against it, may be the missing link.

In this post, I’ll explain what many influencers are getting WRONG about the nervous system and I’ll leave you with three of my favorite regulation techniques you can incorporate into your daily life to help soothe stress, boost resilience, and keep you feeling grounded.

Understanding the Nervous System: Why Regulation Matters

Your nervous system is made up of your brain, spinal cord and the network of nerve cells that run throughout your entire body. A constant stream of Information flows back and forth between these three, sending signals about how to keep you alive. This is happening micro moment to micro moment, we can’t turn this off and we are not consciously aware that it’s happening. Your nervous system controls EVERYTHING  you think, feel, say and do - as well as every organ, muscle, cell and system in your body. 

It’s really THAT important. 

When your nervous system detects signals of threat, discomfort or danger, it will activate protective responses to “keep you safe”. Physiologically speaking, the same protective responses are activated whether you are facing a dangerous predator or your irritating mother-in-law (I had the BEST mother-in-law while she was alive, so no offense to mother-in-laws), and this is why the nervous system is monumental for changing the way we 

think about stress and emotional reactions. What I used to diagnose as anxiety or depression, I now see much differently as activation or shut-down responses in the nervous system. 

Nervous System Regulation Matters, but it’s NOT the whole picture!

The nervous system being the hot topic that it is these days, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that there is a PLETHORA of misinformation about how to address the nervous system in everyday life. 

A big misconception is that our goal is to regulate the nervous system. Tools for regulating our system when we get activated or shut down are beneficial, yes, but they are far from the whole picture. 

Those who have been properly trained in the nervous system know that our call is actually to build resilience, not just regulation. Resilience is achieved by creating more capacity and flexibility in the nervous system. You will know when this happens because you get triggered by less, and you experience peace and contentment more. You’ll also know this is happening when you feel confident that you can face the ups and downs that life will bring -including the difficult times.

Many clients have told me stories about trying tools they’ve learned for regulation, but not feeling any lasting, transformative change. This is the impact of focusing too much on regulation and not enough on resilience. Click HERE, if you want to learn more. 

Even so, effective regulation techniques are important for everyone to have, so I will talk about three of my go-to tools when I need a nervous system reset. Keep in mind, these are tools that I know work for me because I’ve mapped out my nervous system states (a proven process I teach in my self-paced course Nervous System Foundations). That process is crucial for understanding which tools will work best for you. 

Effective Nervous System Regulation Techniques

Technique #1: Breathwork for Instant Calm

Why It Works: Deep, slow breathing has a direct impact on the vagus nerve, a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. This nerve sends calming signals to the body, slowing heart rate, reducing blood pressure, and diminishing the "fight or flight" response.

How to Try It: Start with a simple exercise like box breathing:

1. Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
2. Hold your breath for four counts.
3. Exhale for a count of four.
4. Hold for another four counts.

Repeat this cycle for a minute (or longer) and notice how your body begins to relax. This exercise is particularly useful when you need something highly effective but you are short on time. You can use it during any high-stress moments throughout the day or to calm racing thoughts.

Technique #2: Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

Why It Works: PMR reduces muscle tension and promotes a body-mind connection by sequentially tensing and relaxing muscle groups. This technique helps relieve physical stress stored in the body and trains the nervous system to recognize and release tension.

How to Try It: Starting from your toes, tense each muscle group for about five seconds, then slowly release. You don’t need to tense too hard, especially if you have places that are already sore or painful. Just enough to feel the difference between tension and relaxation. Move upwards through your body—legs, abdomen, chest, arms, neck, and face. By consciously releasing muscle tension, you send cues to your brain that relaxation is possible, reinforcing a more relaxed state overall.

This also brings awareness to your physical body. So often, we switch into autopilot and we “think” our way through our days. Consciously taking time to pay attention to our physical body can reset the connection to our ventral system  - our system of safety. 

Technique #3: Grounding Practices for Bringing You Back To The Present Moment

Why It Works: Grounding techniques anchor you in the present moment, shifting focus from future anxieties or past regrets, which are known to trigger the sympathetic response. Intentionally engaging your senses is an effective way to bring your nervous system back to a place of calm.

How to Try It: Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:

• Acknowledge 5 things you can see.
• Identify 4 things you can touch.
• Listen for 3 things you can hear.
• Notice 2 things you can smell.
• Focus on 1 thing you can taste (or sensations in your mouth).

This sensory immersion interrupts racing thoughts and brings awareness back to the present. 

Creating a Personal Nervous System Regulation Routine

The more research and studying I do on the role of the nervous system, the more I am convinced of its important role in our daily lives. Learning to navigate your nervous system might just be the most effective use of your time. Just like everything else, however, nothing changes if nothing changes. It’s not enough to learn about the nervous system, we have to DO something with that knowledge. We have to try something different and learn from what we find. The benefits of these techniques grow over time, so start by incorporating one or two that feel natural for you, gradually adding more as you feel comfortable. 

With regular practice, nervous system techniques can transform how you respond to life’s challenges, allowing you to move through the world with greater calm, confidence and self-compassion. By building resilience in your nervous system, you create a solid foundation for sustained health, longevity and emotional well-being—one mindful breath at a time.

Get Started Feeling Balanced Here!